Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Doctor, Doctor

I went to my MD yesterday and there were two major developments.  I knew these things were coming but in my usual self denial fashion they did not seem real to me.  I can no longer drive a car safely.  The weakness and swelling in my legs makes it difficult for me to move my foot from the gas pedal to the brake pedal and I am not strong enough to keep the brake pedal pressed when sitting at a light.  I did make it to the hospital for my appointment but I decided I could not safely drive myself home and had my wife take me.

Numero Dos my oxygen levels are dropping low when I have any exertion.  I was hopeful there would be a treatment to rectify this situation, alas no.  Oxygen tanks are being delivered today that is the treatment.  I then asked what if I lost weight, is it possible I have untreated asthma, is there anything I can do to help this problem?  The answer, not really.  I am sick with rare disease that has no known cause and no drugs approved to treat it.

In the end sarcoidosis has forced me to face the fact that we all know deep down inside.  We are not the masters of our own destinies.  We may be the captains of our ships and be able to steer but if you run into hurricane all bets are off.