Monday, August 26, 2013

Pain Pills (Part 2 Fear)

Now here is the real fear.  The pain makes life unbearable and the drugs, well they don't make you feel good but they make life tolerable.  My current doctor who has followed me for three years understands and would not take away my pain pills.  What if he dies, what if he moves, what if he moves facilities and is no longer on my insurance?  That means a new doctor...

I am fat, I think that is the simplest and most descriptive word.  Sometimes when I see a new doctor sometimes all they see is that I am fat.  Real life example I went to see a rhuematologist and he kept telling me my nerve damaged was caused by my diabetes.  Only problem with that is I do not have diabetes.  I told him I don't have diabetes and he continued on about how I need to see an endocrinologist.  I told him I have an endocrinologist and that if he would look at the notes he would see I don't have diabetes.  I also invited him to call my neurologist and he could explain to him how sarcoidosis was the cause of my nerve damage.  This was like me talking to a brick wall.  Apparently in the medical world if you are fat you are a liar.

That is what I am afraid of, the fat factor.   I can't imagine what it would be like without pain medication and I am afraid.  I am seeing a general practice doctor and I am hoping to build a relationship with them so they know everything that is going and I can be a little less afraid.