Monday, December 2, 2013

I love and miss my dad (Part 1)

I was really angry when my dad died in March.  I am still angry but much less so.  I have a feeling that if you have been reading this blog you may have guessed that anger was my way to avoid my grief.  Now that I am less angry I find myself crying and really missing my dad for the first time since his death.  In fact I am sad enough now that I have to finish this later.

I am back and the break from writing has not made it any easier.  I do not know if I will live long enough to have enough time to heal these wounds.  I miss a lot of things about my dad.  He was funny and in a way that he did not need anyone besides himself to laugh.  He could fix anything and not in a Macgyver kind of way but in a way that the things he fixed outlasted him.  He was lovable even though he would sometimes think he was not deserving.  It sounds cliche but I am missing him more each day.

He never had any pets since I was born but he loved animals.  He loved horses, dogs, chickens, cats, and milk cows.  One time a cow died while giving birth.  Dad brought the calf home to our residential home in the Avenues of Salt Lake City.  The calf stayed in our backyard until it was healthy enough to be on its own.  The calf made it to our elementary school for show and tell.  I even rode the calf for a short time meaning I feel off quickly.

My dad loved to work hard.  A lot of my memories of my dad our him soaked in sweat and covered in dirt. He taught me how to work hard, it was a lesson that I did not appreciate until I was older.  My dad was a protector, I remember having sympathy for people that had come after me and incurred his wrath.  My father was a child of the depression and he was cheap, some people like to say he was frugal but they are wrong he was cheap.  Another lesson that he taught me that I did not appreciate until later.  That being said he was generous with his kids especially as he got older.

I think this will have to be part 1, it is easy to write but hard to remember. 

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