I have been staring at the computer screen for an hour. It is Monday and that is the self imposed deadline for my weekly blog post. I usually like to have the blog post finished by Sunday night and then publish it on Monday but this past week nothing has come to me. When I say nothing has come to me that is one hundred percent true but what I have learned about myself in the past three years of forced introspection is that when nothing comes to me it is because I am running (metaphorically of course) as fast as I can from something.
I had the large break in writing blog posts over the holidays. The nothing that came to me over the holidays was I did not want to talk about my mom slowly shuffling off her mortal coil and that my dad had shuffled off his mortal coil. I got out what I was feeling about my mom out and I have begun to work out what the absence of my dad means but that is a long road. I did spit out the beginning of the dad thing but that may or may not be completed in this life.
Which brings us to now Monday at 1:00 pm Mountain Standard Time and the uncomfortable realization that I am running from nothing. I was hoping by the third paragraph that there would be some cathartic breakthrough and that is not the case. Whatever has been chasing me this week is good at camouflage and as far a I can tell is nothing. Tune in next week where I am pretty sure the post will be about something but could possibly be more musing about nothing but either way it will be better than today.