Tuesday, December 9, 2014

My Cat Keeps "Accidentally" Turning Off My Oxygen (Is It Personal?) (Life has value, God, Natural Selection?)

I have a cat.  I think the cat likes me, I think.  We have only known each other for a few months but I think we are developing a relationship.  My cat likes to crawl and climb.  She climbs on furniture as you would expect but on two different occasions she has turned off my oxygen while I was sleeping.  I am not sure how long it takes but I wake up gasping for air and I look over and she is standing on top of the machine with a look that says "Did I do that?" just like Steve Urkel.

When I watched Family Matters I always wondered whether Steve Urkel was a buffoon or was he chaos hiding in plain sight?  I have never been able to answer question then or now, but now I am living my own sitcom, I am Karl and my cat is Steve Urkel.  As I live this sitcom I wonder was the fictional world of Family Matters just a sitcom or was it based on the long lost comedic tragedy rumored to have been written by Sophocles?

I have a lot of thoughts concerning Alf in relation to the cat but I am not sure how it ties in but I do love the eighties classic TV vibe that I have wandered into.  There is the obvious tie in that Alf always wanted to eat cats but even if my cat is turning off my oxygen intentionally I do not think I would want to eat her, well probably not.


You will notice that there were two spaces between the last paragraph and this one, you know what that means?  This is going to be a little less funny and more related to being ill, you know that whole sarcoidosis thing.

It is terrifying to wake up breathless.  Full disclosure I almost drowned when I was a child and when I wake up breathless...it brings me back.  Mortality has been on my mind since the sarcoidosis diagnosis and I have probably not thought about death this much since I was really into The Cure back in the 80's.  Over the past year I have been in the process of converting to Roman Catholicism and while that has not moved mortality from the front of my psyche it has turned off the flashing neon sign that was flashing the end is near.

That being said there is something primal about breathing and when you awake from slumber (did that sound like Poe?) from the lack of breathing your body screams and claws and scratches for life.  In our genetic design there is an imperative to stay alive and whether you are Roman Catholic and believe that God values all life and gave us this imperative or that it has evolved on it's own through natural selection without the aid of God they both say the same thing: life is valuable and God has a plan for you and your suffering or you should try and pass on your genetic code, people give short shrift to natural selection, it took a lot of evolution to get to you or me.