Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Passive Aggressive Attack Platform (The Star Wars of emotional warfare, Star Wars from Reagen not Lucas)



I have talked about what I wanted this blog to accomplish, but let us just keep it real right now.  When this blog started it was just like 90% of the blogs out there, meaning it was just a way for me to bitch about people and like most people that bitch about other people I was too much of a punk ass bitch to name names.

If you don't name names using your blog (PAAP) to communicate is like trying to shoot someone with your eyes closed, it is possible to hit your target but not likely.  I talked about this in an earlier post Your so vain I bet you think this blog is about you?.  Apparently it struck a cord with the reading public because it was by far and away my most popular post of 2014.

The good news is I am not going to name names if I have something to communicate I will contact the person I wish to communicate it to directly.  What has caused this change?  It turns out I am the Kwisatz Haderach, okay I am not the Kwisatz Haderach but I am something quite close, I am sick and I have faced my mortality (death) and laughed, well maybe not laughed in as much as I smiled slightly, that is probably more accurate.

Now for everyone that reads my blog for veiled insinuation directed at people that are close to me do not worry I still have something for you.  If I have some horrible interaction with someone I will describe said horrible interaction in Technicolor detail (480p).  Full disclosure as to not get your hopes up, I do not have a lot of horrible interactions anymore.

How can this be?  I am still not the Kwisatz Haderach but I have gained some wisdom over the past five years of being sick, not seven years in Tibet mind you, but you can learn quite a bit from five years of being sick.  The main thing I have learned is something I have known for my whole adult life.  Peoples past behavior is the best indicator of their future behavior.

The subtle nuance (it is not really subtle or a nuance, I am just emotionally slow and learn emotional stuff the hard way, which means I have to learn it over and over again before it really sinks in) that I have discovered is, no matter how your life and circumstances of your life change that does not change that people's past behavior is the best indicator of their future behavior.

What it all comes down to (Alanis Morrisette) is my chronic illness (sarcoidosis) and the life altering and potentially life taking aspects of sarcoidosis changed me and changed what I need and want from the people around me.  It did not change the people around me in the same way.  I am not saying it did not change the people around me, all right, I will come out and say it: the people that you wanted to be there for you, but were never there for you are still not going to be there for you.

People that suck before you got sick are still going to suck even after you are sick.

People may change and people may surprise you, but they probably won't so give them the opportunity to surprise you, but don't mortgage the house on the possibility.


You ever feel like you are overwhelmed with being sick and with all that it entails and entrails for that matter?  The people you could rely on before you got sick, you know the people that did not suck before you got sick, they are probably overwhelmed too, so give them a little breathing room and allow them to grieve the loss of your health with you and try not to burn them out.  Living sick is hard, but loving the sick is harder still, at least on an emotional level.

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