Monday, September 28, 2015

Where Have I Been? (Pink Floyd, Cats, Family Drama, 80's)

I have been sick, is this your first time reading this blog?  The past six months have been particularly bad but coming through the other side, wait actually it is still going on so more of an update during the trip that at some point will end one way or the other.

I meant that last line to be funny but my wife has informed me that death jokes have a small audience and that only a few people will think that is funny.  Ironically those people will have serious or life-threatening illnesses, you remember Arsenio Hall and the things that make you go hmmm?

Needless to say things have been better and even though it was, needless to say, I said it.  Sarcoidosis has found my hips, knees and ankles to be the preferred food as of late.  Without any Irony, I have been relegated to one room of my home, for the most part, could we call that room sickroom and talk to ourselves as we die?  Sure we could do that and in fact, let us do that now.

Sidenote

Listen to Free Four by Pink Floyd to fully appreciate the humor in the preceding paragraph, also you should listen to more Pink Floyd in general but not too much because it can be a bit of a downer.  The humor in the above paragraph might be considered existential and therefore about death, be aware, be very aware.

Anywho just a general rundown of the current state of physical affairs, I can't drive, some days I can't walk, and that keeps me in bed most of the time and not in a sexy way.  The plus side I have been getting a ton of beauty sleep, the downside I have not gotten any prettier.  As I type this now I have sitting on my bed with my back against the wall, with a cool Tempurpedic pillow of some sort between me and the wall so I am not actually sitting against the wall but I guess that depends on your definition of against.

I have an afghan that I purchased on Ebay covering my lower extremities and my legs sit akimbo, not actually but I have always wanted to use the word akimbo.  I sit with my legs apart and my knees slightly bent.  This is not a comfortable way to sit but I have found that under the current regime led by the dictator sarcoidosis that this is the least painful arrangement of my legs.  I am wearing Tardis fleece like a shawl and I do use it to cover my head, I wear my shawls old school like I am going to get some gruel on.

To complete the picture, there is a blue tortoise cat that I call Hummus.  Her full name is Blue Ivy Hummus but we have known each other for about a year and we have gotten closer over that year to the point where I just call her Hummus.  Before Hummus to came to the fast paced world of the sick-room she went by Quinn but now with the hustle and bustle she is surrounded by Hummus seemed much more appropriate.  Hummus sometimes sits on me and sometimes she sits in the windows and sometimes she sits on the stack of extra blankets and then sometimes she hides, under a bed, in her carrier which means she is hiding in a cat prison, I never said she was a smart kitty.

This may seem like the same shit from a few years ago when things got bad and you would be right, then what is the difference now?  My dad is dead, I called adult protective services on my mom, and my two sisters and I have not been seeing eye to eye about how I handled my mother's poor situation.  The stress makes everything better, okay it actually makes everything worse.  The stress has had a profound toll on my body, at one point I considered this complete bullshit put forward by weak people.  I do not believe in karma, but I admit it seems karmic that something I once thought was bullshit now afflicts me.

Don't worry. I still love gossip and there are several blog posts detailing all the conflicts of family life, and just wet your whistle it even includes the rarely mentioned extended family drama, that's right for no additional cost you will get gossip on my fall out with uncles, aunts, cousins and maybe some second cousins I honestly can't remember everyone that is mad at me.  I have tried to write a post about my mother three different times or I more accurately there are three rambling unfinished posts about my mother and my call to adult protective services but it maybe a year before I get enough distance to put something out on that topic.

Anywho life is not all bad, but I do not think the good things fit in this post, things have been really crappy and that is where I have been, Craptown eating a shit sandwich, but at least I am not going hungry.